Matka powinna - MamySie.pl
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Matka powinna

Wieczór. Jest już dość zimno jak na tę porę roku. Otulam się bardziej szarym płaszczem, staram się skurczyć, aby się w nim cała schować. Słyszę tylko swoje kroki na ulicy i mruczenie kota, który mi się przygląda. Unikam jego wzroku. Jeśli mam być szczera, to nie tylko jego.

Wyciągam rękawiczki. Chłód wieczora źle wpływa na moje dłonie. Pękają, a ja nie mam ochoty na wcieranie w nie oliwy i kremów. Wycieram usta. Wcześniej starłam z niej szminkę, bo zwracała uwagę przechodniów. Teraz wycieram łzy. Nie wiem nawet czy moje. Mama mi mówiła, że od wilgoci pękają usta. Nie całuj się na wietrze. Nie całuj.

Nie całuję, mamo. Od kiedy sama jestem mamą trzymam się sztywnych zasad, które wpajają mi pokolenia kobiet starszych doświadczeniem. Dbać o dziecko, pielęgnować, sadzać na nocnik, nie dawać smoczka, nie przytulać za dużo, nie głaskać. Tak, a ta szminka nie powinna być używana przez mamę. Podnosić tylko w taki i taki sposób. Nie dawać wejść mu na głowę. Swoją oczywiście. Masz czas pomalować paznokcie? Zapamiętaj – Ty, mama, nie masz czasu dla siebie. Dziecko, pranie, obiad, dziecko, dziecko. Powtórz. Mama powinna…Powinnaś pamiętać, że dziecko może Tobą manipulować. Nie daj się. Bądź czujna.

Nie całuję, mamo. Za rękę męża też nie trzymam i nie patrzę mu w oczy za długo. Muszę przecież na dziecko patrzeć. I je za rękę trzymać. Nie chodzę na randki. Do kina też nie. Ja mama – wolna niewolnica.

Idę dalej. Nie, nie. Biegnę dalej. Mogę biec, bo mamy nie chodzą na szpilkach. Łatwiej im wtedy gonić dziecko, biec za dzieckiem, nieść je lub cokolwiek jeszcze innego. Ale z dzieckiem oczywiście. Biegnę dalej, mijam park. Liście tam pachną jeszcze październikiem. Kiedyś poszłabym na spacer, ale teraz powinnam

Jest już dość zimno jak na tę porę roku. Muszę kupić kurtkę. Dziecku. Moja sprzed ciąży jest jeszcze dobra. To nic, że niemodna. Dobra.

***

Mama i tata są piękni. Niech takimi pozostaną w oczach dziecka. Mama może wyglądać dobrze. Ba! Mama powinna. Wyglądać dobrze. Dla siebie, dla męża, dla dziecka. Dla szczęścia całej trójki. Czwórki i piątki, daj Boże.

PS: Ludzi trzeba słuchać. Nie wszystkich –  niektórych. I nie zawsze – czasami. Unikaj treserów dzieci. Unikaj treserów mam.

Fotografia: Nelson L.

Marlena Bessman-Paliwoda
marlena.bessman@gmail.com

Jeśli podoba Ci się tekst, podziel się nim ze znajomymi. Dla mnie to jak zapłata za moją pracę :) Dziękuję!

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89 komentarzy
  • Mari Bo
    Posted at 07:49h, 06 listopada

    O właśnie! Przez to ciągłe gadanie,że Mamom już niewiele od życia się należy, jest ich coraz mniej… a przynajmniej mniej dbających o siebie Mam. Cieszę się,że poruszasz ten temat Marlena. I wiem,że Ty dbasz o siebie, bo ciągle promieniejesz! 🙂 Oby każda z Mam miała w sobie tę świadomość.

  • Sar Novsky
    Posted at 09:23h, 06 listopada

    przy porannej kawie to przeczytałam, bardzo ładne. no trochę sie wzruszyłam .dzięki za ten post. 🙂 pozdrawiam

  • Mamy się dobrze
    Posted at 12:25h, 06 listopada

    Zapraszam częściej. Z kawą 🙂

  • Mamy się dobrze
    Posted at 12:26h, 06 listopada

    Mama też człowiek, prawda?:)

  • Sar Novsky
    Posted at 12:42h, 06 listopada

    jakby mogło być inaczej, mama + kawa = wielka szalona miłość 🙂

  • Kot Niezależny
    Posted at 14:14h, 06 listopada

    Och, będzie kolejny dobry polski pisarz… 🙂

  • marny puch
    Posted at 14:37h, 06 listopada

    Dużo emocji w tym poście. Powiedziałabym, że jest piękny! Wszystkiego dobrego!

  • Mamy się dobrze
    Posted at 15:31h, 06 listopada

    Dziękuję. Tobie również. 🙂

  • Mamy się dobrze
    Posted at 15:33h, 06 listopada

    Blogowy pisarz, na pewno. 🙂

  • Kot Niezależny
    Posted at 15:52h, 06 listopada

    A kto wie, co dalej 🙂

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    Posted at 18:31h, 07 listopada

    Bardzo mi się podoba całość, ale najbardziej puenta, ostatni akapit. Bardzo. Pozdrawiam ciepło

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    Posted at 21:09h, 07 listopada

    Dziękuję. Zapraszam na więcej akapitów:) Też pozdrawiam!

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    Posted at 12:15h, 24 listopada

    Bardzo ładne.. 🙂

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