
Wyzwanie dla małżeństw: Słoik wdzięczności
Ośmielona sukcesem wyzwania dla małżeństw, jakie zaproponowałam Wam w listopadzie, chcę zaprosić Was do udziału w kolejnym eksperymencie. Dołączysz?
W grupie, którą prowadzę na Facebooku (grupę znajdziesz TUTAJ) jedna z jej członkiń, Marta, napisała: „Możemy skupiać się na tym, co nas dzieli, albo na tym, co nas łączy – odkąd jestem w tej grupie, uczę się tego codziennie. Podoba mi się, że Marlena kładzie nacisk właśnie na zauważanie więcej pozytywnych niż negatywnych emocji. Mnie to bardzo pomaga”.
Kolejne wyzwanie, jakie Wam rzucam, będzie miało właśnie taki charakter: skupimy się na tym, co nas łączy w małżeństwie; na pozytywnych aspektach małżeńskiego życia.
Nie chcę pisać jak life couch, że szczęścia można nauczyć się, kreując je. Chcę Ci pokazać, że szczęścia bardzo często po prostu nie dostrzegasz. W codzienności umykają nam drobne gesty, niewielkie sprawy, które świadczą o tym, że mamy to, czego od zawsze pragnęliśmy. Chciałabym pomóc Ci pracować nad tym, aby tego „umykania” było coraz mniej. W jaki sposób? Wraz z nowym rokiem zapraszam Cię do tworzenia „małżeńskiego słoika wdzięczności”.
Wdzięczność nie jest oznaką słabości. Wdzięczność nie jest pokazywaniem drugiej osobie, jak dług mamy wobec niej. Najbardziej trafia do mnie stwierdzenie Waltera Dirksa, że „wdzięczność jest najpiękniejszą formą szczęścia: należy zarówno do jego przyczyn, jak i skutków”. Skoro zatem dziękowanie po części stanowi przyczynę szczęścia – wykorzystajmy je sprytnie w naszych związkach.
Co dokładnie mam zrobić?
- Przygotuj słoik. Możesz go ozdobić lub kupić już ozdobiony. Postaw w widocznym dla Ciebie miejscu, aby przypominał Ci o nowym, codziennym rytuale.
- Przygotuj karteczki, na których będziesz zapisywać swoje podziękowania dla męża/żony.
- Codziennie opisz JEDNĄ rzecz, za którą chcesz podziękować swojemu partnerowi/swojej partnerce. Karteczkę wrzuć do słoika. I tyle!
- Zaproś swoją połówkę do przygotowania dla Ciebie podobnego słoika.
- Codziennie przypominajcie sobie, by do słoików wrzucać kolejne kartki.
- Polub fanpage i dołącz do grupy „Małżeństwo – mamy się dobrze”, w której będziemy dzielić się tym, co zauważyliśmy, i – co ważne – wzajemnie motywować.
Co da mi to zadanie?
Dziękując żonie/mężowi, każdego dnia odkrywasz swoje szczęście (wzniośle zabrzmiało, ale tak jest):
– zauważysz pozytywne aspekty małżeńskiego życia;
– dzięki codziennej pracy wychwycisz znacznie więcej dobrych gestów, niż pracując nad nimi w dłuższej perspektywie czasu;
– zyskasz pamiątkę na lata;
– pogłębisz relację z partnerem/partnerką;
– pokażesz małżonkowi, co szczególnie lubisz lub co cenisz w Waszej relacji.
Za co mogę być wdzięczny?
Za każdą rzecz, jaka tylko przyjdzie Ci do głowy. Najważniejsze jest, aby wychwycić choćby jeden gest, jedno słowo, które danego dnia okazały się według Ciebie wartościowe lub potrzebne. Nie jesteś jednak niewolnikiem jednej formy – możesz ogólnie dziękować za określoną cechę, którą w danym czasie dostrzegłaś.
Małżeństwo ma wiele barw, pamiętaj więc, aby nie przestawać dziękować w trakcie kryzysu, po drobnej sprzeczce czy wielkiej kłótni. Podejmij wysiłek i napisz jedno zdanie, dziękując choćby za sposób, w jaki przebiegł spór (np. z szacunkiem do Twojej osoby). Na pewno nie zachęcam wtedy do rzucania słoikiem, no wiesz…:)
Kiedy otworzyć słoik?
Proponuję, aby wyzwanie trwało cały rok. Nie oznacza to, że zawartością słoików nie możecie podzielić się wcześniej – to zależy tylko od Was. Podziękowania możecie przeczytać, kiedy będziecie mieli trudniejszy czas (dla ożywienia) lub podczas randki. Otwarcie słoika przed zakończeniem słoika nie oznacza zakończenia wyzwania.
To jak? Dołączasz? Ja tak! Ten pan niżej cytowany dał mi Pstryczka w nos, więc niebawem pochwalę się moim słoikiem.
„Jeżeli nie jesteś szczęśliwy, to znaczy, że skupiasz się na tym, czego nie masz,
inaczej musiałbyś doświadczyć dobrostanu” – A. De Mello
>>> WYDARZENIE NA FACEBOOKU – dołącz! <<<
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Fot. CC BY Strep72
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Posted at 07:27h, 08 styczniaŚwietny pomysł Marlena! I bardzo spodobało mi się, to co tu napisałaś: „Nie chcę pisać jak life couch, że szczęścia można nauczyć się, kreując je. Chcę Ci pokazać, że szczęścia bardzo często po prostu nie dostrzegasz.” Trafia to do mnie w 100% i zgadzam się z tym . Dzięki! 🙂
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Posted at 10:56h, 08 styczniaSuper wyzwanie! 🙂 Na pewno uraduje każdego z małżonków. Co do Twojego stwierdzenia o nauczeniu się szczęścia i kreowaniu go zestawiając to z life coachem bardzo się nie zgadzam. Kreowanie kojarzy mi się z wymyślaniem jakichś odrealnionych wizji. Coach niczego nie kreuje. Zadaje pytania, na które odpowiadasz Ty sam znajdując odpowiedź w sobie, odkopując swoje zasoby. Często właśnie pomaga dostrzec to szczęście, które masz w zasięgu ręki, w codziennym dniu – to najbliższe, najprostsze.
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Posted at 16:09h, 09 styczniaŚwietny pomysł!!! 🙂 Fajna modyfikacja tradycyjnego słoika wdzięczności 😉
Przy okazji chciałam Cię poinformować, że nominowałam Cię do zabawy Liebster Blog Award – szczegóły tutaj http://stymulowanie-rozwoju-dziecka.blogspot.com/2016/01/liebster-blog-award-okazja-aby-poznac.html 🙂
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